As pencil touches paper it makes blackened marks against what is perfectly clean and white.
It seems a shame to mark on it, alter it, or change it from its former purity.
Pencil touches paper and marks it much the same way you have marked my soul with your ways of hurting and causing pain.
You never could face the scars of your soul or your own black marks, you just took pencil in hand and began marking on the souls of others whether they loved you or not, whether undeserving or not.
In a state of blindness you draw upon the marred expressions within you to help you draw the tears and pain of others.
Your pencil forms a razor because you are not satisfied until the lead breaks through the paper and you feel the damage is permanent.
I have come to realize that paper is empty and incomplete unless marked upon. Without a mark it awaits it’s purpose and usefulness but with marks it is a story and my story is this:
My soul is more than paper and your razor edged pencil never had the power to write so deeply that God couldn’t erase it. My life is a book and God saw you write in it things that should not have been there.
It is to your shame that it is now part of my story but to my Victory that I am now so much more than you ever wrote me off to be.
Because of God my pages are no longer filled with the confusing etches of your pencil. My pages are not torn. God took the black marks of my soul and gave them expression of grief, tears and a voice. He then erased and rewrote me…Renewed and restored me.
I look at you still trying to lash out and draw tears and pain upon my pages but it is the life of Christ that covers my book, which means you don’t even have the power to open it.
Anything left of you in my story is only there to show others what they too can overcome through God. Perhaps one day you will see how much you need to turn your pencil over to God and let Him rewrite your life but if not, it is still time that you know my life is a closed book to you.
By Kimberly DuBose
Written January 11, 2004
I know that given the name of this blog, it is completely ironic that this particular thing is what I chose to share first. My life is pretty much an open book. I don't hide who I am or what I'm about, but I do close the cover to anyone who spends his or her time simply looking to hurt others. There are resolutions through love, but there are people that seek to hurt due to their own inability to deal with their own pain. I love them but I distance myself and refuse to allow things they have said or done to have a place in my life let alone my heart or mind. I get to chose what has relevance in my life.
If you are hear to encourage and exhort, welcome to my page, if not...leave. Simple as that!